I hate it when people take my layouts and then not give me credit for them. Is a small text link that big of a deal? If this keeps going on, I'll delete the layouts archive in BG. So freaking annoying.

Anyway, have to watch 'Friends'.

Hmm....well, still recoiling from the events that transpired yesterday. I still can't believe that my Dad got angry at me for such a little thing. He's being so unreasonable these days. Damn it. I wish I didn't slam the car door. If I didn't, I would be in my cousin's house right now instead of back home, getting bored out of my freaking mind. But I don't apologize for arguing with him about me being able to go out more with my friends. I mean, my God, 12 year olds get more freedom than me! I almost even wish that school would start again just so I could be away from him.

An excerpt from Pablo Neruda's Poetry.

Y yo, minimo ser,
ebrio del gran vacio
constelado,
a semejanza, a imagen
del misterio,
me senti partepura
del abismo,
rode con las estrellas,
mi corazon se desato en el viento.

Translation:

And I, infinitesimal being,
drunk with the great starry
void,
likeness, image of
mystery,
felt myself a pure part
of the abyss,
I wheeled with the stars,
my heart broke loose on the wind.

Buon giorno. Ah...giovedi. Mi piace giovedi. Mainly because it brings venerdi, and that in turn brings sabato, il prefito giorno.

Just learning a bit of Italian. Hell, I don't even know if I my grammar is correct. Anyway, gotta go. Arrivederci.

I think the only reason why the fish aren't biting is because that particular fish is looking at someone else's bait. Hell, you know what I mean. And if you do know what I meant by that (lucky you), you’ll discover my curse.

Thank goodness my cousin got a punching bag. At least I can alleviate some of this stress by kicking/punching it incessantly. Crap.

My cousin and I had a long phone conversation with a friend yesterday. I’m glad he took a risk and say what he wanted to say. Proud of ya.

New layout. The above image looks a bit lopsided, doesn't it? Oh well...I just wanted to try out something new. Adobe Photoshop was used for the lightblue - darkblue gradient thing and the rest was done in PSP7.

I'm going to be taking a break from web/graphics design for a while. I just feel like there's more to life than slaving away on my websites. I'll be devoting more of my time on corporeal activities such as aikido, swimming and yoga. If you want to contact me, just text or call my landline numbers.

I've had a busy morning. I clicked on Outlook Express, pushed 'send and receive' and got 48 new e-mail messages. Most of them were just poetry entries for Breeze Graphics. Speaking of that contest, I'm supposed to choose the finalists for it in 6 days. Don't know if I'll even be home for that.

Here's a photo of us in the beach. (hope you don't mind that I directly linked to the image, rin. ^^) Nico looks likes the freaking court jester. Orange looks simply adorable. But she always does anyway. =)

I just don't feel creative today.

Yes, well, I'm back here typing again.

I'm currently reading the entries for the poetry writing contest in BG. Some of them are actually very good...I think I'll have a hard time choosing the finalists for this. Can you believe that someone even had the audacity to brag about her work? "This was published in a book." "My poem is really good, isn't it?" My GOD! I despise people who are so self assured. But as much as I hate to admit it, her poem is one of the best I've seen. Dammit. Why did she actually have to be good? If she wasn't, I could enjoy her suffering by telling her that she didn't win. *sighs* No, I'm not that mean. Actually...it all depends on my mood. =)

I'm really looking forward to going to the beach tomorrow. I guess it's because I can be away from my boredom...at least, for a little while. Plus my parents have been acting strangely lately...talking to me about uhm...certain things that I thought they would never discuss with me. Don't ask. I need to get away from this house.

I'm thinking of getting another domain. There's nothing wrong with my current one right now...it's just that it's so frustrating not being able to express my feelings or say what I want on my domain because my parents visit it regularly. Not only that, they criticize my layouts, always having a not so nice remark about them. It's really so frustrating! I can do whatever the damn hell I want to do with my website! Annoying...

Before I leave, Kay made a website about the girls track team: *plug* ... it's very ... uhm ... how can I put this delicately? Oh, hell, just visit it. I'm not about to waste my time thinking of a nicer word for it.

I still can't believe that I'm being allowed by my parents to go Rina's beach house. I thought that they would never let me go, and here they are practically pushing me to go to it. Weird. I have almost have everything I need for it. Rina's present and etc. Now all I need is a gift for Nico. Damn...what could I possibly get that guy for his birthday? Guys are so hard to get gifts for. Oh, and a another 'special' gift for another friend of mine. Hmm...I know exactly what to get! Did you know that Christian moved? No one ever tells me these things.

I once asked my Dad if I could get a tatoo. He paused, seemed to think hard about it and replied by saying "It's your choice." I wonder if it really is or is he just saying that but is actually screaming "NO!" ;) Guess I'll find out if I choose to get one. I was actually supposed to get one today but my transportation fell through so I couldn't. Next time, I suppose. Ack...I hate needles!! I'm thinking of either getting a cat's paw on my left ankle or a chinese character that means 'poison'. My cousin has one on her right ankle. A chinese character that means 'dream'. She loves it mainly because of all the pain she went through to get it. Hmm...I wonder if I'm like that too?

I told him that I didn't want to be a problem...and I meant that. But it's hard not to be. I feel like if I do stop it's like I'm hiding how I truly feel. I'm seriously tired of doing that.

Reading some of the old e-mails in my inbox (outlook express) while I wait for my brother to get off the internet. Someone just sent me an e-mail in text language. My God! How the hell am I supposed to translate this? I'm going to get a headache. Why isn't my brother done yet? What could he possibly be doing in the internet? Not searching for porn hopefully. Is he that kind of a guy? I have no idea anymore. Nah, I don't think he is. He's my brother for goodness sake. I don't think he would be such a perverted person. I think...

I'm listening to classical music right now. It's so...moving. I had forgotten how much I appreciate music like this. Usually when I listen to it, I feel as if everything around me has been shut out and the only thing that reaches my ears are the gentle sounds of the piano and the violin. I used to play both instruments actually. Plus the harmonica and the flute. Piano for about 5 years, violin for 3 years, harmonica and the flute, one year each. I only stopped taking lessons because my parents didn't have enough time to drive me. I wonder how good I would be now if I continued playing those instruments.

I stayed at my cousin's house for about 3 days. We talked about so many different things. I think she's one of the few people in the world who I feel that I can completely trust. Sometimes we understand each other so well... I don't even have to say anymore what I want to do (watch tv, swim, etc...), she automatically knows and (most of the time) agrees to what I indirectly asked. It's comforting and yet at the same time disturbing to have someone know me so well. But of course, I still surprise her with my personality now and then.

I love my Mom. What could I do without her? As soon as I got home today she gestured for me to hug her. I did. I feel so safe in her arms...same thing with my Dad. I just sometimes wish that they wouldn't be so overprotective. I believe that if they lessened their protectiveness, we would hardly ever fight. I just need my freedom once in a while, that's all. Besides, I can take care of myself. My Dad understands that...but I don't think my Mom does. Oh well...it's understandable. I am her daughter.