Just got nominated for the 2002 Anime Site Awards. Vote for me? :) Just remember that my url is http://www.kawaiikiwi.org/soulair/bindex.html NOT http://www.soulair.dot.nu. - just a redirection. Thanks to anyone that does this!

Just came back from the retreat yesterday. A lot happened during that time. But I don't think it has changed anyone's behavior at all. Oh well. At least I got two days of no classes from it.

I'm really getting worried about my grades. I've been failing Filipino and A.P. for 3 Quarters now. (I think. I haven't seen my report card since the first quarter) Anyway, that means that I at least have to get a line of 80 in those two subjects if I ever hope on passing. Argh...is it my fault that I can't understand Tagalog well? Damn.

I made added a new free layout in Breeze Graphics today. It's a non-anime one. Took me around 10 minutes to make. I'm not proud of it...I feel that I can do so much better than that. I don't know what's been wrong with me lately. All my free layouts are getting simpler and simpler. Maybe I'm just getting lazy. Nah, that can't be it.

I thought of changing all the html pages in BG to .shtml. But then I decided not to bec. I would have to edit every single html file (AGAIN), add the SSI code, and then upload it all over again. I didn't see much point in it after I realized that.

Hmm...what else did I do today? I reviewed a site. Er...ok.

Hmm...I'm sitting here behind the computer (yet again), racking my brain for something creative to write. My mind is in a complete mental block. All I can now think of is graphics.

Ok. I'm going to make another attempt at writing a poem.

silken hands
portrude from the abyss
of darkness,
reaching for a human.
one so vile and corrupted,
that it must be punished
by the devil himself....

Ack. This really doesn't match with my new layout, now does it? Oh whatever. I'll write one tomorrow.

Retreat tomorrow.

I'm supposed to be writing an article about breaking up. But nothing really comes to mind. When I think of breaking up, I see despair, tears, guys/girls who treat the other person so badly that they feel that nothing matters any more.

Maybe I should start the article that way.

Breaking up. The world seems to have gotten smaller, and the only thing that exists in your mind is the feeling of absolute sadness and pain.

I am not a writer. Why am I writing this article?

I just had the most fascinating dream. I dreamt that two of the guys I like right now (one before, one now) were fighting over me...casually. It had something to do with dancing and pineapple and...books? My recollection of it is starting to get blurry. Anyway, I chose again which one I liked the most and it remained the same person that I've liked all along.

It's weird, really. All my friends don't understand why I like him. "He's weird." - their usual comment about him. But...there's just something about his personality that delights me so much that I feel I can say anything to him. He just makes me feel so comfortable. And...safe.

Ack, I should really stop typing this post now. For all I know, he could be reading this. Hmm...are you?

Just had track practice. I had to sprint 10 laps.

Erm....bye now.

I sort of had a great time last night. (prom) Shit, I love fast dancing now. I want to go clubbing! ^_^ The only annoying part of last night was the fact that almost everyone had their respective partner to everything while me and a couple of my friends did not. Oh well. It wasn't really that bad. Although next time, I think I'll get more comfortable shoes. My feet became red a bit after all that dancing. (oh yeah, the food, sucked completely.)

Ni gave me a lily last night and in it was a heart shaped necklace. My Mom is freaking out a bit because I keep getting new jewelry from people every week or so. What is it with jewelry anyway? Weird...

Anyway, made another site called Featherblown graphics. It's for commericial/personal sites. (with a fee, this time) Hope I get some money from it. I would really like domain hosting. Portland just keeps pissing me off. And they still haven't replied to my domain question.

Just wrestled with my Dad a bit for an internet card. I couldn't get it. =( He did give me a clue though. He told me that the card is behind one of my pictures. That doesn't help much though. My Mom placed a pic of me in almost every room in the house. Argh...

Anyway, my Mom's calling me to eat dinner. Adios.

Here I am, experiencing very fast internet in my Mom's office. I love it! The only drawback is that I can't really think of anything to do right now...hm....

Anyway, the prom is in about 3 hours. I'm supposed to get my makeup done and then go to the hotel to change into my gown. Argh...I'm not really looking forward to going. It's not like I have a date, anyway...so what's the point? Also I think I'd much rather have stayed at home and updated my website.

Hmmm...today wasn't so bad.

I felt alone again in my classroom today. But of course, I'm getting so used to it by now that it doesn't even really bother me anymore. Damn, I really am anti-social.

Ni just asked if I wouldn't mind if K went to the prom. I didn't answer. I just turned around, picked up my bag and walked away as quickly as I could. I can't believe that he would even ask that question. Duh. What did he think I would say? Doesn't he know that I still don't feel comfortable around that guy? And what's worse is that Ni keeps inviting him to outings that the 'kada usually goes to. Dammit. K is my friend,....but I need to be away from him for a while. Can't he see that?

Right after he asked me that stupid question, I saw M. He stared at me again, in his usual "I'm watching you" look. I stared right back and then ended up laughing. He laughed too. ^_^ He really cheered me up just by doing that. Wish I knew M a little better.

Anyway, that's everything.

Argh...I am getting so tired of making all these annoying powerpoint programs. Why do people automatically assume that I'd want to do it? I mean, yeah, I enjoy making graphics and working with layouts and etc., but I don't enjoy doing those stuff if I have so many other things to do. (update all my sites, a research paper, homework) Damn...must rest...

The prom is next Friday. And I'm going. ^_^ Can you believe that my parents are actually letting me go to it? Weird. They don't let me go out with my friends, but it's okay for me to go to a dance and stay there until midnight. I can never understand how this works. Anyway. I still need a gown! I'm thinking black and silver. If I see a pink one, I must destroy it. *shudders* Pink gown. Hell, no.

Well, I think I'll get some rest. Btw, soulair.net works now. ( i think ) Sometimes it works, and then it doesn't after...I don't know why. I really need to get paid hosting.

I'm in a great mood today. ^_^ I finished two make-up exams and a long test. Probably failed both, but oh well...at least it's done and over with.

Argh...I still need a host for my domain....portland somehow didn't work with my domain registrar. Or maybe I did something wrong. Not sure about that...Anyway, I could always try again.

ERM......boo?

Made a new site. Misunderstood.

Hmm...nothing interesting has happened to me lately. Just the usual everyday stuff. Update sites, make a layout, sleep, watch tv and eat. And I love it. I can't believe that I'm going to have to go back to school. Hate school. Argh....